Project Blurriness, Thoughts on Prayer

It's important now to note that the line between my anthropology project and my own personal journey are blurred, not slightly, more like a big fuzzy swath across a page. My project is a bit of a tool to force myself to get out there and experience and explore things that I've wanted to for a long time, but been to afraid to do so.

I am researching something that I lack. My professor asked us "What do you want to know?" I want to know how religion beliefs and practices help people deal with stress because I don't have that. That's why I want to know! I want to know what I'm missing.


I regularly think to myself..."This is when someone would pray." I can't pray when I don't know what I'm praying to. I believe in a higher power or a higher order in the Universe itself. Do I believe in a God? I don't know. It is impossible for me to pray to a god that I don't know exists. It's not fair to me to relate to a deity who's existence I'm unsure of...To spend time giving thanks to and asking for help from a potentially non-existent source. It's unfair to the deity to say "hey, I don't really believe in you for sure, but can you help me out with these things?"

A friend of mine told me something like it doesn't matter whether or not you know the being you pray to exists because prayers are an expression of hope. Maybe that's true, but I am only able to express one hope at a time. Either the wish to find that higher power or the wish for help meeting my needs.

Did I mention that I'm working on a project about religion and stress?

I'm going to try a Unitarian Church!

I recently found out that a co-worker of mine attends the local Unitarian Universalist church. In addition, he and his girlfriend, who like me are in their mid-twenties, are starting a young-adults group at the church. Unfortunately he's going to be on vacation for the next couple weeks, and I'm not comfortable enough with new situations to try going to the church without someone I know.

I'm really excited though! And I've suscribed to their young adult listserv to keep up with what's going on before I try out the church.

Truth and the Sacred

I can tell when some things are true. They reveal powerful things about the Universe.

I recognize some things as sacred. They connect to the deepest parts of my soul and remind me that I am part of something so much larger than myself, my family, my city, my country, or even my planet. That I am part of all that is living in this Universe. That I, myself, am sacred as well. I am every bit as holy as the Sun and Moon and Stars above and the Earth beneath my feet.

Usually when I encounter truth it is something someone says to me or that I read in a book. When I encounter something sacred it can appear in so many forms. For me, the most common form is music. But there are days I see the sacred everywhere and I am truly grateful.

Elemental

According to BeliefNet's What's Your Element Quiz I'm a water person. They describe water people here. A lot of that applies to me. The scary part of which is:

All that feeling can lead to its share of problems.
Depression and addiction are Watery illnesses,
and flowing with dark, negative feelings can make
some Water people irrational, or even psychotic.

According to the stuff at BeliefNet water people are ruled by emotion and feelings. I'll buy that. I need to feel things, knowing them doesn't get me anywhere. I need to feel that I am safe, not be told that I am. I need to feel that i'm loved, not hear the words "I love you". I need to feel a higher power in my life.

My Anthropology Project

I'm taking a course in Ethnographic research Methods this semester. As part of the course I have to do a research project including real fieldwork.

I've decided to research the way religion and dedication to religion affect the way a student deals with stress. While I know religious people are more likely to pray, I'm also curious if other things they do, like regular church attendance help with stress. I also want to know if they are as likely to use other coping mechanism that are common among students like drinking.

I'm also curious about the degree of stress that might arise from religion itself. Students are more likely to try religions or at least denominations different from the one they were raised in. They are also likely to do things they may have been taught were wrong like drinking alcohol and premarital sex.

Anyway, should be interesting research. More info to come.

Affirmations

I am a child of the Universe.
I carry perfection within me.
I am protected by my Mother the Earth.
I deserve to be loved.
Somewhere, the person I seek is seeking me.

Shift in Purpose

I've been thinking about what to use this blog for and I've decided to revise its purpose to be an exploration of my spiritual development. Any of the few who visited this page already will notice that I have made myself largely anonomoyous. This will allow me to point to and from my presence on messge boards at iVillage and BeliefNet and maintain the same recogizable username

Religion Quiz

Earlier tonight, I took Beliefnet's Belief-O-Matic quiz.



Here's what Beliefnet says about their rankings:

Remember: The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.
Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in the order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

These are my rankings.
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (94%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (91%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (89%)
5. New Thought (82%)
6. Liberal Quakers (80%)
7. Scientology (80%)
8. Theravada Buddhism (76%)
9. Reform Judaism (76%)
10. Hinduism (70%)
11. Jainism (70%)
12. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (65%)
13. Sikhism (64%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (62%)
15. Secular Humanism (62%)
16. Taoism (58%)
17. Bahá'í Faith (57%)
18. Orthodox Judaism (50%)
19. Orthodox Quaker (48%)
20. Islam (40%)
21. Nontheist (32%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (24%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (17%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (14%)
26. Roman Catholic (14%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (13%)

Blog Start

So I've decided to start a Blog. I breifly considered whether to use software or write my own and decided that if anyone has a good tool it's Google. There's a lot of stuff I might discuss here. It could be an excellent place to keep friends and family informed of events in my life both academically and personally. I'd also like to use this as a place to ponder spirituality. I might also spend some time writing about my current projects at work.